Mailer Boxes

Wed., Dec. 28, Ramiro and I were sitting in the breakfast room after I got home from work. We saw the UPS truck drive up and wondered if we were getting a late Christmas present. I opened it to find that UAMS had sent me a pack of 4 mailer boxes. Each box contains a small styrofoam container about the size of a cigarette pack, and inside it there is a single test tube. I need to find out the details about using these, but they are for the purpose of sending blood samples to UAMS on a monthly basis so that they can have a fresh sample on hand to be used for compatibility testing in the event a kidney becomes available. I don't know whether I go to the blood bank, the doctor's office, or the lab to get this blood drawn. But the boxes are all set up for Fed Ex shipping--prepaid labels, envelopes, etc. I thought I wasn't supposed to get these until I was on the transplant list, but maybe someone has jumped the gun. I need to find out more.

The old year is slipping away, and the new year has so many uncertainties for me. When will I absolutely need dialysis? Will I get a transplant? Live donor? Cadaver? Or will I still be waiting for one a year from now? Will I be alive a year from now? There are so many things for me to take care soon. We need to refinance the mortgage. We need to get wills drawn up. I need to get a living will drawn up. We need to get these things done before I get too sick to move about. I already tire very easily. Some mornings I have to take a little rest after I shower and dry my hair because that's enough to tire me out. Most days I sit on the couch right after dinner until bedtime, doing nothing more strenuous than reading or watching TV because I'm just too tired to do anything else. I used to stay up past midnight working on my craft projects--sewing, quilting, whatever, then getting up at 7 a.m. for a full day of work. Now I go to bed at 11 p.m. and sleep straight through to 8 a.m. I can't imagine staying up any later, and the mornings I've had to get up earlier have really taken a toll on my by the end of the day.

But every morning I wake up glad to be alive, glad if I'm not queasy, glad I'm not retaining fluids, glad to have a good appetite. Some mornings I'm queasy and don't feel so good, but these have been fairly infrequent. Mostly it's too much protein that makes me feel not good, so I watch what I eat, focusing mostly on fruits, veggies, carbs and very little meat or cheese. Breakfast is cereal or bread. I made granola as christmas gifts for the quilters here, and I have a large sack of it left over for me. It's Jacque Wackerbarth Forrest's original recipe from the 60's (when she and Jay were living in San Francisco because he was in the Navy). I still have the original post card on which she wrote the recipe. Anyway, I have granola with a little bit of milk and some fruit for breakfast, and coffee. Lunch is bread and a low sodium slice of cheese, with an orange or some other fruit, then dinner is whatever I fix for Ramiro and me, but I have a very small portion of the meat if any at all. Last night I was feeling pretty queasy (I'd had meatloaf for lunch with the quilters at Dixie Cafe), so all I had was half a grapefruit and some graham crackers. Later in the evening I had hot Mexican chocolate and a piece of semita (Mexican sweet bread). It was very satisfying and the hot cocoa made me feel warm and sleepy.

I am at work right now, but there's not much to do. I may call it an early day. Happy New Year!